A tour of London’s loos

Plus the best thing I ate in the UK.

Inside the ‘secret garden’ of the conservatory at the Barbican, London.

I’ve inevitably been thinking about diverged paths while I’ve been travelling in the UK.

The roads not taken. Opportunities denied or missed. Relationships that ended, sometimes seemingly out of the blue.

Those moments in life that set you on a new path, which may or may not have been the route you were planning on taking.

And the imprint of yourself that is left behind.

Do you ever feel this way?

I’ve moved around a lot, and so feel there are a lot of ghost Celine’s wandering around the world. And when I was in the UK recently, for the first time in many years, I confronted my London ghost.

I lived in London for over two years; I’d planned to stay longer but then the Brexit vote took place. Seeing as that seemed like such a well-thought out move that would definitely not leave Britain in economic and ideological turmoil, I bailed on life in London and moved back to Australia.

Can’t say I regret the decision looking back on the last few years, but it’s easy to wonder what might have been, who I might have been, had I stayed.

Laneways in Peckham, in London’s south east.

It’s always a bit eerie going back to a place you once lived. Walking down familiar streets, where enough has changed to wig you out slightly, but so much still looks the same.

I took my boyfriend to my old neighbourhood, showed him the house where I once lived, a house full of many happy memories. Wondered how in six years, no one had bothered to fix the rotting wooden front gate. Ate a meal from my favourite fried chicken shop, picked up a brownie from the local providore that tastes as good as I remember. Moist, as all brownies should be.

London has changed a lot; it’s a big city, a breathing organism, forever growing and expanding. But so much of it remains familiar - the layout of the city is embedded in my mind and in my body. Getting around is muscle memory; it’s familiar to me in a way that few other places are.

I love visiting London, although I struggled living there. However, a slice of my soul remains, wandering its streets, drinking in its pubs, diving into its history and living out a life that could’ve been.

Are you on the right path? Really, who’s to say? Regardless, I think it’s important to reflect on our ghost lives. The what almost happeneds, the what could have beens.

It helps us take stock of where we are in our lives and what we hope to get out of them.

Touring London’s loos

A toilet tour of London… what’s that, you ask? Well, exactly what it sounds like. Seeing the sights of London, through the lens of the city’s loos.

Something that shocked me when I first moved to the city, and which I totally take for granted back in Australia, is that fact there’s no legal mandate to provide free public amenities in the UK and Europe.

Coughing up to use the crapper… a literal foreign concept.

There are places in the city that don’t put a price on peeing and some that are worth the pretty pennies (or pound, thanks to inflation). I don’t want to give away the whole tour, but I would like to share a couple of highlights.

Wander off The Strand and behind the Savoy and you’ll find this pretty, ornate street lamp. HOWEVER. THIS IS NO ORDINARY GAS LAMP.

The last lamp in the City of Westminster to run off methane fumes.

It’s the last lamp in Westminster to run off the excess methane fumes from our sewers. Meaning, it’s powered by poo; an ingenious example of Victorian engineering.

Unfortunately, the amount of methane expelled wasn’t quite enough to keep it going 24 hours a day, or have it burn brightly enough to lend its light to the streets.

All were eventually removed in the borough but this last lamp. It remains an excellent example of outward thinking and channeling of the most natural and noxious of gases… our farts.

Drinking inside a cabaret toilet bar.

London is home to a lot of underground toilets, some of which have become small bars. It may sound kind of gross in theory, but you know, they have been scrubbed out and refurbished in times since.

When I lived in London, I often drank in Bermondsey Arts Club, one such example of a toilet bar. It was quite excellent to take the opportunity to take a tipple in yet another toilet; now a cabaret bar, with see-through WC doors. Lock the doors and they instantly turn to frosted glass, giving you all the privacy you need while peeing.

If you’re heading to London at some point in the future (or live in the UK/Europe) and are looking for something both quirky and informative, then the London Loo Tour might be perfect for you.

The best thing(s) I ate this fortnight

It’s been tricky, narrowing down a top meal in the UK! In the theme of things, we have essentially been feasting like kings (in honour of the newly crowned HRM Charlie, I guess). However, decisions must be made, the jury has decided, etc.

Black pudding and chicken liver from a tapas restaurant in Liverpool. Delish.

It’s sort of a draw, you see. Because the overall winner is Stornoway black pudding. I basically live for offal and black pudding is a fan favourite, but this particular recipe is the bees knees. It’s made in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland and has been making an appearance on menus since I hit Liverpool. And if it’s there, I’m ordering it and am so far yet to be disappointed.

It’s rich, crumbly and just about everything you could ask for in a pud. Now I just have to track down some decent white pudding and haggis and I will be VERY PLEASED INDEED.

Giant oysters from Borough Market.

Yet, I also have to call out these delicious oysters from Borough Market in London. I failed to make note of exactly where they hail from, but hey; they’re British. And more importantly, they’re somewhat decently priced, which is a rarity for both seafood, and food in London.

I paid about $20 AUD for four of these beauties and I reckon the equivalent from my local live seafood shop would be inching closer to $40. Which is ridiculous when you consider that Australia IS AN ISLAND, but them’s the breaks, I guess.

Let’s end things here

There’s plenty more I could say, but in the interest of keeping things concise (for once), I’ll wrap it up here. I’m currently drinking Argentinian Malbec on a big boat, heading to a place I’ve long wanted to visit… more about that next time.

-Celine